Our culture thrives on being busy, applauding those who are the busiest and don’t slow down for anything or anyone -- especially themselves. It has taken years for me to learn to allow myself to take time to care for and love myself. I want my kids, friends, family, colleagues to know a different way, and to feel fully supported in their needs to maintain daily balance. For instance, to regroup after a long day at school, my son needs time outside, while my daughter needs to draw or read. I encourage them both to take the time they each need for those activities each day.
The most effective way to teach is to lead by example. Below are self-care and self-love tips for you, your family members, and friends to implement during this holiday season and into the New Year.

1. Affirmations. The Zendoway “I Love Me Affirmations” cube has prompts that ask you to write down why you love yourself, to create a love dance or song, to repeat “I love me” 10 times, and other similar activities. The self-love affirmation is a powerful tool as we all need that daily reminder that we are awesome, no matter what. Using the cubes at the dinner table is an interactive way to spark new conversations and learn about each other. The first time I gave my daughter this cube to roll at the dinner table, she said, “I don’t love anything about myself.” I was baffled, since she shows a consistent front of self-confidence and happiness. With further conversation, I was able to figure out that she just had a bad day and was temporarily feeling down on herself, which we can all relate to. I was so grateful that the cube facilitated that conversation, so I could support her! What do you love about yourself?
2. Do something you love daily. Ask yourself, “what brings me joy?” We get so caught up in the day to day of being tugged in so many different directions, it can come to the end of the day and we have forgotten all about our own needs. Let’s give ourselves love, attention, that one special treat that will make us smile, and brings us ultimate joy. What brings you joy?
3. Spend time alone. We all require downtime to process our busy lives. Mindful time alone allows us to decompress, tap into our creative nature, solve a problem, and discover what to say to nurture our family or team members. Time alone can be in meditation, a walk, a run, or even driving in our cars. I love to have the first hour when I wake up to myself to spend in various ways; if I don’t take that time, I find I feel all out of sorts. How do you spend your alone time?
4. Nurture your body. Eat healthy food, use organic lotion/oils on your skin, and practice self-massage. An easy self-practice I do each night is to massage sesame (warming) or coconut (cooling) oil on my feet before I go to bed. It not only keeps my feet well moisturized, it promotes sound sleep and is an effective way to give back to my body at the end of each day. How do you nurture your body?
5. Check in with your feelings. Many times, we think we should feel or act a certain way. When was the last time you checked in with how you were truly feeling? When I started this “check-in” practice daily, I was amazed at my own personal insights throughout each day. When you are feeling stressed, check in with yourself. How are you really feeling right now?
6. Gauge your mental chatter. What is going on in our minds can be mind-boggling. My meditation teacher Rolf Gates taught me how to release these thoughts by putting them into an imaginary boat, giving it a label, and letting it go. Do you have a boat that is full of to-do items or filled with worry? Either way, it is okay; just label it, and set it off to sea. What is your mental chatter?

Remember, small daily doses of self-care will keep us mentally, physically, and emotionally sound. Once you determine which self-care rituals/routines work best you will notice that your mindful practice will become contagious and you will want to do more for yourself. We all have a desire to be cared for and we are the only ones that truly know what feels good to us each day. The daily commitment to self-care is what will set us apart from others – help us have more energy in all facets of our daily life. We deserve the best!
 

The saying “It is better to give than to receive” is a universal truth. But we often forget that we can give back to ourselves, too. Around the holiday season, our schedules are busy with events and buying presents for others. Many times, we drain our own energy by feeling obligated to go to the parties and match gifts we receive. However, that’s not the true meaning of the season; this time of year, is all about giving back and spending time with our loved ones. Imagine being fully relaxed and in the moment of smelling our favorite cookies baking in the oven, listening to laughter and music and allowing time to fully settle into the sights, smells and sounds of this beautiful time of year.

Giving and receiving are two parts of the same cycle. This season let’s take time to evaluate how we give to others, ourselves and our community. Let’s vow to give ourselves gifts this year and move into next year with a sense of renewal and intentions for the best year ever.

Here’s some things you can do to give back to others and yourself this holiday season:

OTHERS
Take the advice of Leonardo da Vinci: “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Suggest that family and friends substitute hand written letters to each other instead of giving presents. This is a gift where we can take the opportunity to share our gratitude for those that mean the most.
Take time to truly connect at gatherings by spearheading a way to share success and gratitude stories as a group. Ask everyone to write down an accomplishment and area of appreciation on a piece of paper and put in a basket. Have each person pick one and read someone’s experience. Focusing on all the good will only bring more.

COMMUNITY
Give gifts to a child in need or donate to a local organization such as Toys for Tots or Cornerstones. Enlist friends and family to volunteer as a group in place of having a holiday party. Giving back together can create strong and lasting bonds.

OURSELVES

• Say no to one obligation to allow for free time to do whatever you please.
• Schedule a date of self-pampering. Do all the things you never have time for: read, watch a movie, take a bath, order take-out, cook dinner or sit by the fire. The idea is to recharge and relax.
• Determine what you can let go of from your past that is holding you back. Write it down and throw it in the fire to release.
• Evaluate travel plans to determine if there are any alternatives. For instance, do you drive three hours to visit with one side of the family, and then two hours another day to visit the other side of your family? Could you only make one of those trips? Schedule a visit for a later date when things are not so busy.
• Evaluate your daily routine. Are there things you could simplify next year, such as limiting the kid’s winter activities or hiring a cleaning service? Ask yourself if there are things you can delegate or minimize. Make a list. Writing it down allows you visualize all that you juggle.
• Practice gratitude, not complaining. Write, imagine and speak those elements about which you are truly grateful.
• Throw away the New Year’s resolutions and decide to bring awareness to your daily habits. What emotions are driving decisions? Ask yourself which ones you would like to change and which ones are positive. Commit to improving one at a time. Simple awareness can lead to better and easier choices.
• Hire a personal coach to help you create a crystal clear vision for “ultimate success” so you know exactly what you want, where you’re headed, and what you need to do to make it happen. Click here for a free session.

The more we take time to nurture that which we desire and take quality time for our personal needs, the more capacity we have to give back to others. Let’s make a decision to move forward with our best interests at heart. As Lao Tzu said:
“Those who value their own wellbeing equally with the rest of the world can be trusted with the world. Those who love their life as if it were the whole world will be trusted with all things under heaven.”

Originally published: https://www.poshseven.com/giving-receiving.html

Imagine giving a gift that is priceless, stress reducing and joy enhancing all tied up in one neat bow of gratitude! As we enter the holiday season, remember there are many ways to give back to those you want to celebrate with a non-monetary gift.
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Priceless Giving Ideas:
Family/Friends

• Write: Write a poem or write a short story about your favorite time with that person.
• Picture Collage: Put together a computerized picture collage if you are good with technology. Send them an electronic copy saying how much you enjoy the memories you have shared and looking forward to making more memories.
• Act of Service: Create a booklet of free passes in which you do a task for another person. For your immediate family you can give them a free pass by taking out the trash, cooking a meal, giving them a massage, or simply making their bed. For friends, offer to help them with tasks they don’t enjoy such as one day of purging their junk closet or babysitting so they can have free time.
• Heart Fillers: Fill balloons with messages of love, gratitude and appreciation. They will enjoy popping the balloons to read your message. Another option is to place all the love notes in a hand-decorated jar.
• Connect: Suggest one-on-one time with the friend or family member, i.e., taking a walk; having non-technology time together; enjoying an activity you both share a passion.

Work

• Thankful Note: Write a letter that includes why you are thankful for your colleague. Written notes are powerful as they are not used frequently, and they can be revisited whenever the reader needs a lift.
• Invitation: Invite your co-workers for a holiday scavenger hunt or a cup of hot chocolate. Find a festive location for the hunt and enjoy in fun together making memories.
• Appreciation: Decorate your co-worker’s cubicle or desk with stickie notes of all the reasons you appreciate their efforts.
• Content: Ask your team members or manager to be a part of a round-up article or blog to help them market their talents.

No matter what you decide, make sure you are sharing gratitude and quality time together and, most importantly, remember to give from your heart. 

Fruits, vegetables, flowers, nuts, and gratitude are the centerpiece of our tables, hearts, and minds as we enter Thanksgiving week. As a company we decided to embrace a month-long focus on gratitude by implementing our “Moving with Gratitude” wellness challenge.

We asked our leaders why they were grateful for the Actualize team. Here is what they had to say:
Geran Combs: I'm grateful for the openness of or firm that allows anyone to express an idea or concern freely and know it will be heard.  

Priscila Nagalli: I am grateful for the team we have, this pool of individuals that brings strong technical, but also an incredible sense of commitment and team work to the table. Thank you everyone for making this company so unique.

Matt Seu: I am grateful for our Actualize team because our team makes me better as a person and that carries over to my clients and what I can offer them.

Kerry Wekelo
I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to use the Actualize team as the sounding board for creating and maintaining a thriving organizational culture. Our team’s openness allows the platform to give back daily and spread to other firms how focusing on your people first equals success.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can increase your personal happiness and shift your perception of how you see and interact with the world around you. At work, we focus on our people’s success with Star Player Awards for a job well done, sending out personal thank you notes and get well soon cards. We want our people to know we care about them at a personal level.

As you prepare your home for Thanksgiving and fill your cornucopia with abundance, take a moment to pause, and pivot to a positive thankful thought. In our family, each person writes down who or what they are grateful for on a slip of paper and places it into the basket. Before we enjoy our Thanksgiving meal, each family member pulls a gratitude note from the basket and reads aloud. It is beautiful way to share in gratitude and fun as we are trying to guess who said what.
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Happy Thanksgiving!  

What strategies would I tell my 20 something self before I entered the workforce or tried to successfully advance my career? As I prepare to guest lecture at American University on career advancement strategies, I took a moment to reflect on my personal journey. I narrowed it down to 4 strategic steps that have accompanied me throughout my career and can be utilized at any point in the process. Whether you are just beginning to navigate the professional world or seeking to improve your current position, these top strategies can help you to successfully lead and advance in your career.

1.      Network. The old saying “it is not what you know, but who you know,” has some validity. LinkedIn is a powerful tool to use to keep in touch and build your network. The first three things to make sure you do is to create a solid profile, connect to your peers and colleagues, and be active by posting, sharing, and liking content. The more you give, the more you will receive. For example, giving endorsements and reviews are helpful to others and give you more reach. To learn more, read this article, “12 Common Ways You Are Using LinkedIn Incorrectly.”

2.      Create Clarity. Great leaders consistently create and communicate with clarity. Think of the exceptional leaders you know. Are their plans and purpose murky or clear? How do leaders gain such powerful clarity? As a leader, I have achieved clarity by taking time for myself and staying inspired. When we take time to nourish ourselves, we have greater capacity to see the big picture, allowing us to make wiser decisions and plan more effectively. I was recently working with my mentee when she said she was going to write a big master plan for her career advancement. For a few months, I allowed her to use this strategy. One day, when she was not making progress and feeling frustrated, I asked her these simple questions, “What are you doing that inspires you each day? What did you used to love to do?” After taking time for herself and painting for inspiration, my mentee was able to create clarity around her career progression. She was very surprised that the creative space was what brought clarity, not her master plan. I have found this to be the case as well. I rarely find the answers when sitting in front of my computer, it is when I get outside to move that the answers come to me about complex issues.

3.      Communicate Effectively. As you find the answers and the clarity on what you want in your career, it is your responsibility to communicate your desires to your manager. Taking accountability for your career will take you far. For instance, my mentee got clear on wanting to work more on strategic initiatives. I encouraged her to go to her boss and tell her. Because her boss knows that is her passion, she is now allowing her to work on those special projects. If you find yourself complaining or not feeling inspired, go back to strategy two of creating clarity for what you want. And then take accountability for how to achieve your goals.

4.      Find Mentors and Coaches. Having strong mentors that are not in your current organization is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. I found myself stagnated in my career until I invested in coaches and found a few steady mentors to help guide me along the way. Many times, it is hard to see your blind spots when you are in the thick of the moment. For instance, this summer, I was working with the famous life coach, Cheryl Richardson, who was featured on Oprah. She said, “you need to take items off your plate, so you can have time to focus on the more strategic items.” I was so busy in the day-to-day minutia that I did not realize I needed to delegate to move forward. For the first time in 13 years, I took a well-needed unplugged vacation. Work moved forward, my people were more empowered, and I am now doing the work I truly desire. 
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As you begin your professional life or start a new chapter in your career, choose strategies that will aid in your successful career progression. Take the space to reflect instead of plan. Ask yourself creative questions designed to show solutions that are personal to you. Reflect on leaders that inspire you. Which of their qualities stand out to you and resonate with how you want to be as you move forward? Use these answers as inspirational stepping stones as you embark on your new or improved career path. Be inspired!
If you are looking for that internal spark of inspiration, I am happy to assist you. Contact me at kelam@actualizeconsulting.com.